A Testimony from Quarantine

I have to give a testimony. So much has changed these last few months. Josh’s Prius died and we got a new (used) car. The boys had three different viruses at once, and Landon was almost hospitalized as a result. They were really sick! Wyatt shredded his leg climbing over a fence. Then, COVID-19 came, the boys got sick, and they were tested. Praise God the tests were negative!

I proceeded to pull the boys out of public school for a few reasons after the quarantine. So, I had to create my own school with free curriculum online until next year when they start at a homeschool charter again. When I finally adapted to working out at home, I became pregnant and was put on bed rest due to complications. I went to the ER three weekends in a row with an ectopic scare, and then cramping and other symptoms. While they found a heartbeat and I was told my symptoms are normal, going through them is an entirely different experience. Then, I have to face the reality that this is the first baby my mom won’t get to meet on Earth. This July she’ll have been gone for 2 years, and I’m due 3 days before her birthday which sometimes reminds me of her absence. Then, Connor and Landon had an accident and Connor was taken by ambulance to the ER due to minor head injuries in case of concussion or damage that we couldn't see. 

On top of all that, I even admittedly indulged in arguing with others about current political issues out of frustration with what was going on in my life, which I feel awful about now. 

I can’t go to church since I’m considered high risk for pregnancy, and also won’t be able to go to the gym once they re-open, which has deeply saddened me. As much of an introvert as I am, I’ve grieved over the loss of being around others. Finally, while we were just about to put my car on the market so I could get a van, it gets hit. The damage was minor, but it decreased the value of my car therefore taking down the resale value. In all this, I struggled. I hit a wall and I found it difficult to pray and read the Bible. I still did, but something felt missing. Being confined in this house has brought so much to the surface that I didn’t realize was there. But, I couldn’t confront it. I was hiding from it all. Between a deep conversation and prayer with my momma Nay Nay, encouragement and prayer from Josh, and the making of my new prayer corner, I finally had a breakthrough. So much was revealed to me through the word and through prayer. I just sat bawling and praising the Lord for about 20 minutes after I finished my studies and prayer time. God has been here the whole time. I may have tried to numb myself through distraction, but I kept feeling that tug on my heart. It’s almost comical that I literally tried to stop Josh from making this prayer corner for me because I wanted to spend time with him. Little did I know that the time I had with Josh ended up having more quality time because of what the Lord had done to my heart. While the anxiety of this pregnancy isn’t completely gone, I can say I feel a peace that I haven’t felt since last year. I’m finally seeing things from a different perspective.

If it wasn’t for the quarantine, we wouldn’t have brought the boys back home from public school. I am so excited for the coming school year, especially after picking out all of my curriculum. We’re even starting school with Connor this year! “Losing” my workout time has allowed me to replace that with much needed prayer time. The quarantine has allowed me to study the foundations of my beliefs and reconnect with Josh and the boys in ways I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise. Family and friends have become so much more precious, and there’s a closeness I have with them that is so special. Being apart from them has made me appreciate them so much more. While the bumper of my car was hit, the accident could have been much worse. I’m so thankful that Josh and Wyatt are okay, and the value of my car is nothing compared to their safety. I was looking at things from such a negative perspective. Praise be to God for shifting my focus to Him and His goodness! 

I miss the old “normal,” prior to the quarantine. But, I can embrace this new normal while being in the word and praying. The Bible talks about us going through trials (Romans 5:3-5). James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (NASB) If, "we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28 NASB)", I can honestly say that while these trials have been hard, I have learned so much and I am thankful for what the Lord has revealed to me throughout this season.